we

bought our dreamhouse. I am now a home owner and am moving back to my native coast. will be even busier now.

I have to say...

...this has been one of the best holidays in a long time. My family opted for donating money to charity this year instead of over indulging each other with a bunch of crap we don't need. We all figured we have everything we need or want and if we didn't we'd of bought it by now anyways. I did receive a toothbrush and an Elvis christmas ornament for Christmas anyways but I was beaming all day long yesterday knowing we donated a few hundred dollars to feed a whole community of formerly homeless people in San Francisco instead of sitting there behind a pile of meaningless objects.

We selected the organization one of my best friends runs in SF which provides housing for formerly homeless individuals. He used our money to give them a fully catered christmas dinner party and took pictures of their beaming faces. He sent me the digital pics right away and we crowded around the monitor to look at the images and my family's faces mirrored those faces in the photos.

We did still buy presents for the children though and it was sad watching them just bulldoze through the gifts and then be immediately discontent and wondering if there were more because the fifty million presents piled up next to them apparently were not sufficient enough for them. Hmm. Neauseating.

Anyway...My kids will each get 3 gifts on christmas and have to donate 3 of their belongings in return, the yin and the yang, keep the flow going....but I say that now...I'll probably spoil them rotten too. Anyways I'm just saying that because of my 3 factor. Happy Holidays y'all!

time flies

we just placed a purchase offer on a house here...been busy....whirlwind...dream house...hmmm.

winter vacation

I'm in NY for the next 3 weeks so more than likely I won't be posting while I'm here. Happy holidays to you all!

it was

Exactly what I wanted. Hours of flat pavement spread out before us only to disappear in the invisible haze where it met the horizon. Skulls with leathery flesh melting in the dry sun. Normally this sight would make me vomit but it somehow fits the rugged landscape. Dust coating the black luggage as it sits near the open hotel room door.

I always become a little melancholic at the end of a trip but that quickly fuses into a blissful ecstatic state which carries me for quite some time. It is my plan to slowly scan this continent and adhere to my preferred process of elimination while I target out my next dwelling - the nomad that I am. I already know I want the South more than any other place, but this series of road trips is partially meant to slowly obliterate the thought/option of living anywhere else at this stage in my life.

In the meantime I keep filling my ears with the Southern tunes, my belly with the Cajun goods, and my eyes with Southern imagery from those artists whom I admire most. This all makes clear sense to me.

annoying

for some reason I am unable to leave comments on any of my favorite blogs...

crisp new blue

Yummy. Crisp new dark blue sheets I glide into. Warm light. Fresh images from the film Baraka racing through my mind undisturbed. I put the words that truly mattered in my journal where they belong. My last entry was coated with the syndrome of PM.
Deep down there was a little stone well with about a foot of water which contained beautiful orange coy motionless in my belly and they held the tiny gigggle which was about to erupt.
Friday the sun broke through and we were all standing close to the windows all day, sometime my face was pressed to the cold glass of the familiar strangers home. When I was finally freed night had long since fallen overhead and there was only crisp darkness and a stretchy moonlit cloud above.
Saturday evening ran into 4am Sunday so quickly that they had to kick the crowd of us out all at once from their new lovely home. What a nice party. I tackled the Swede with the big nose and then later when I was unawares, while tiptoeing delicately down the middle of the barren steep street, he came from behind and picked me up and tried to turn me upside down but we both fell to asphalt quickly. Only moments before Hubby warned me that this Swede liked to turn people upside down...Hubbs supposed it was the wrestler in him. You think? When I showered just now I could make out in the dim light raised red gashes across my legs and arms from the fall. The hot water burned them raw so much so that they opened and liquified. I love when my skin holds the memory of a night within it for days like this until i am ready to let it go and suddenly I realize it has quietly healed before my eyes leaving no trace.

done

Hmmm, my server is maxed out so I can't post any more pics for the time being. The trip ended abruptly and less than 6 hours later I was on my feet for 3 - 11 hour days on photo shoots and I am beat, still haven't unpacked completely, the words are slipping away, the smile fading, today I could be found gazing out at the grey rain falling without stirring even slightly. I hear them calling my name but I tune it out and focus on the dry Arizona sun and cacti popping up around my shoulders, the friendly strangers telling me their secret locations and directions for me to drive there so that I can shoot these sacred places. Photographs with Vegas magicians and Tombstone cowboys as I clutch them tightly waiting for Hubby to focus and snap....the painful digital delay. Mineral baths warm, warmer and scalding hot we walk around in our robes all day with feet dangling in the steamy mineral brew, European breakfast plates on our laps. Everyone mingling in the quiet buzz of desert. Long sighs and shooting smiles across the dusty plains to your gaze. The Crand Canyon was burning in controlled flames and I shot it in the freezing cold, hands going numb and limbs convulsing. 26 rolls of film in total which I am about to scan.

Last night I went to bed with three (yes 3 really) milky grey tear stains on my right cheek. I watched them fall from the bathroom mirror as I got ready for bed and chose not to wash that part of my face, little did I know that I would awake to find that the city stole them while I slept and spent the entire day pouring that grey water on me all damn day long, socks soaking and cold around my little toes.