gabrielle

I shot this earlier today...having no idea I would turn into her within a few hours while sitting alone in that darkened theater. Watching the dark ancient scenes mingled with the French voices. I recall not long ago watching the preview of this film and feeling uneasy in my seat as Hubby leaned and whispered to me "she is you, that is you".

He was so right. And at one point she uttered something I have found myself telling only my most intimate of friends as of late. I was paralyzed in my seat from then on. And upon leavng the theater I drove directly home rather than the current engagement to which I am expectd at in 7 minutes time.

I cannot walk out of a film like that and into the bustle of others pointless banter...I needed some time alone first in my sanctuary to digest it. I came home and slipped out of my sandals to feel my bare feet along the warm wooden floorboards of my house, walking between rooms in the darkness of blue. I am coated in a dark blue light all day...as Gabrielle is in the film. Her pale white freckeld skin and dark red hair. She is me. I am her.

When I was s little girl I named myself Gabrielle for a while. People would tell me that it was such a grown up name for such a little girl. I smile at those words now. I didn't understand what they meant, because I did not undertsand that it would take years before I grew into her. How ironic life is...and I don't even want to be her anymore...not for an instant.