the words come later I told her

this is where we spent our minutes yesterday. we climbed those stone stairs that wove around the bending and descending water.
.everyone has their place.
.to be.
I found ours and it was agreed upon immediately.
we slowly tiptoed along slippery wet rocks to the shade and partially undressed before placing our bodies in the shallow pool near the sound of the accordion player.

there we sat as the warm and forceful water pushed against our arms for the next hour. my face was wide and bright. I held my knees tightly in my arms and rested my face upon them as I watched the water ball up and fall away in the distance. she sat across from me and we shot eachother silent smiles. soon 8 children came and played within our space. they shared the constant smile with us. it makes my eyes water to recall it now. after some time they left and all turned repeatedly to wave again and again and again. they could not seem to stop looking back. strangers mean something sometimes... to them I am grateful.

she is gone 5 hours now. on a train headed south, my eternally favorite direction...some day I will wrap that word permanently around this body. "how romantic..." I said as I let her out of my arms at the station earlier this day "...the train and the american landscape."

mine eyes hurt at the edges now. I went and lay on her bed and fell asleep just now. like last night as we lay still in the darkness on our backs talking. only to wake to a new day 5 hours later. I had wanted to sleep next to her the whole duration because I do not like where I lay at night as of late. I want my own room. my own space. my own skin. my own air. my own tears.

I am suffocating this way. always watching over me. tending to me. at my feet. over my shoulder. hands all over me that I constantly push away. god help me. on the sunday boat your voice followed me - telling me constantly to be careful, at one point I kneeled on the slippery bow of the boat and growled before your words sent me plunging over the side to the deepest depths of the darkness to let out my screams.