ashes

I feel as though I'm going to turn into ashes at any given moment and be blown away and dispersed. And as I realized this to myself I recalled my Momma-San telling me this day that I'm playing with fire. Then she asked me if I knew what happened to those whom play with fire. I deadpanned my response in the most monotonous tone.

When I pressed the off button on the receiver I just lay there and let the tears spill for some small while. Then suddenly out of nowhere a G-force of pressure plowed me straight through my bed and through the floorboards down to the basement. I lay there in the rubble for a while longer then went and slipped into the shower to wash off all of the dust.

When I stepped out I thought I was coated still in some burnt out ash and when I was beckoned to step outside into the crisp chill day I lunged back away from the door for fear of being carried away. I slid along the wall and moved quickly to the core of the house and stood there very still while looking down at my feet. I think I'm going a little bit crazy. Sometimes it makes me giggle and then other times it just makes me cry.