All night he was in my dreams so when I awoke to a body pushed up against mine I thought it was his and smiled into my pillow with my eyes still closed...then when I realized it wasn't him I turned and slowly pressed my knees along his back to push his body away from mine and to the other side of the bed. I watched his still and quiet face a moment as he slept without the faintest glimmer of detecting this abrubt and cruel physical separation and my eyes watered. It was that precise moment when the deepest sadness settled in my skin which has coated me all the day.
[10.16.06 7:30pm]
2 comments:
In my humble opinion, i don't think you should hate yourself for this. Its normal human emotion. You must follow your heart at all times.
I suppose guilt is a normal human emotion as well then. In any case your words soothe so thank you...I still hate myself because he didn't deserve to be pushed away so coldly just for not being who I thought or wanted him to be...it was cruel and cold-hearted on my part as I see it. My predicament makes me be someone I don't want to be to the sweetest human being in this world!!! How could I not hate myself for that!?
Post a Comment