We went out with about 10 friends last night and strolled around the Mission district for about an hour trying to decide on a location everyone approved of...so annoying. While standing outside of one place deliberating a homeless man sat and offered us information about places to go and everyone ignored him as if he didn't exist. I tried to listen and contribute to my friends conversation but kept turning and thanking the man for his recommendations.
At least 20 homeless asked us for change as we strolled back and forth down the street and everyone filed by ignoring them but I apologized to every one. And I am sorry, sorry that the world is such that because people suffer from mental illnesses they are neglected and although they need the most attention they receive the least. I'm not saying they are all mentally ill but it is very evident in this city that illness is highly prevalent among them.
Last night one man asked for pennies and everyone walked by him but hubby ran back to him and said "wait...you need pennies?" and he dug in his pockets. I don't give money anymore, I give food. Leftovers from restaurants, or bagfulls of leftover food from photo shoots which normally gets deposited directly in the trash. Bagfulls of perfectly good food gets thrown away at these things if I don't take it. What's sicker is that most of these photo studios are on alleyways full of homeless people so it's not like you have to go far out of your way to give it away.
Once an old blind man stood mumbling and holding a cup in his hands as he stood in the middle of a sidewalk. I was in line inside a cafe watching the people shove by him as if he didn't exist. I went out and placed my hands over his and told him something loving and his milky white eyes darted to the side and he smiled and moaned back at me and my eyes spilled tears before I let go and walked away. I almost had a nervous breakdown on the rest of my walk to work. What I fucking hated is that the business men and women that walked by me as I held his hands sneered at me in disgust, they didn't notice him they noticed me, and what I did was clearly abhorrent to them.
I'm not saying I don't ignore them sometimes too. Once a man spit in my face because I only gave him a nickel instead of the quarter he requested. He also thought it fitting to call me a "white bitch". I ran inside and cried as I splashed water over my face. I didn't want to go outside for days after that it got me so down. I think my tolerance went to zero for a few years after that incident.
2 comments:
a very long time ago (i think i was 13) i saw an old man begging at a street market in london. i went and bought him some chips and he was so grateful he held my hand in his gnarled and dirty one whilst thanking me.
whenever i see the Big Issue on sakle i buy it and have a chat with the seller as most people file past ignoring them and they have a thnakless task selling that when the weather isnt as nice! do they have the big issue where you are lorena?
i would also say that theres only so much society can do for some of these people. as youve said some are mentally ill and as such are incapable of keeping a flat or job and therefore are sadly destined for a life of hardship. its undeniably cruel but life can be cruel sometimes.
P - your memory astounds me, you actually remember that I ordered gnocchi what...6 years ago? Yeah I used to have to sit at the dinner table until I finished all of my food because there were starving kids in China and Africa, (which meant me falling asleep at the kitchen table everytime liver or seafood was served). Anyway, that didn't make sense to me, why should I eat it if I didn't want it. In any case as an adult I'd force myself to eat everything on my plate until I realized the absurdity of it all and now I don't, (except for that sickly amazing pesto gnocchi) I wrap it up and give it to one of the thousands in need who are usually just a doorstep away as sad as that is. I told you I am in a babbly mood today...I hate it.
Cook - no we don't have the Big issue here but we have what I'm guessing is similar as the homeless see it to yoiu directly: the Street Sheet. Sometimes hubby buys it, but I prefer giving them food myself.
Brooks - Oh I haven't grown callous one bit. That spitting episode happened about 10 years ago. And I could give a shit about yuppy snobs, their disapproving looks make me pity the fools. And Brooks - you can always feel free to go on and on here if you'd like. BYW have you seen the film Dark Days? Fascinating.
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