I'm having a small cocktail alone (which I hate to do and only do it about once every couple of years) because I want to fucking murder someone or throw everything out the huge gaping holes that are still in my debris covered office. Oh why don't I start with the debris covered monitor and apple tower that suddenly won't work AT ALL today, or no why not throw the airport out the window or your grimy fucking roofing tools and motors which are cluttering my balcony. I stood at the window and stared at it for about five minutes just now, envisioning throwing it over the ledge again and again and again and again, and each new vision had one of the roofers attached to it in various ways.
Yesterday they (the roofers) sat at the gaping hole in my office and belched open-mouthed about 358 times and finally I stood up and screamed "you sick fucking animals I fucking hate your mother fucking fucks of shit you fuck-wads". Yeah, throwing "wad" at the end of a sentence like that always feels fulfilling. Hubby hates it so it's good ammo when I'm mad at him. Anyway I left the office immediately after saying that and hid in my living room and closed the blinds and waited frozen to see if I could detect any of the spanish whispers and then my head swore they were talking about me. I suddenly understood spanish perfectly I was certain of it.
I used to want to be a boxer really bad just to channel out the rage, and I blame that desire on having only brothers, male cousins that were as close as brothers, and all the neigborhood boys as friends. Fun for me as a small girl did not consist of tea partys but rather tree climbing, digging up dirt with my yellow tonka trucks, and collecting and stretching worms out after a rainstorm.
One day after I had had a really shitty day much like this entire week, I had so much rage in my body, and my girlfriends took me out to a rave where I decided to dance the anger off. Slimy bastard old man thought for some reason that it was an invitation for him to come and put his hands up on me. I pushed him away with one hand and smiled and warned him not to lay one more finger on me again, then closed my eyes and proceeded to dance. Then about 10 seconds later the same grimy hands came up on me from behind so I turned around, stood back and decked him in the face with my fist as hard as I could with all of that rage and I knocked him out cold! (I still can't believe I did that). Anyway, he fell back on the floor and had to be carried out by 2 big men, and I was an instant celebrity at this rave. All night I was fed water among other rave-like items, and girls kept coming up to me and thanking me because he had been equally annoying to them. So the moral of this story is stay the fuck away from me when I'm in this mood. Do you hear that roofers!?!?!?!?!?
8 comments:
hehe, I'm calmer now, just had to verbally vent. The landlord and roofer boss are coming tomorrow morning to look at the mess they've caused. my computer isn't working today and our airport service isn't working so I'm on Hubby's laptop surfing off of a neighbor's internet access.
no worries, I won't box and mess up my chances for pluckin' my future banjo.
lorena, its always good ot have a good old rant, it helps!
do u want to borrow a gun to 'sort out' your builders? tee hee
When I lived with roomates from hell I had to rant a couple times a day to keep from killing them - I guess it kept me sane....hehe
B - thanks. I was really mellow and nice to the roofer boss and my landlord, they both felt really bad...it made me instantly forgive the fact that my stuff is ruined and my offfice is a trash heap.
CM - thanks but no thanks. I prefer dealing with things the old fashioned way.
SA - yeah, it helped, that and storing the leftover rage and taking it to the gym with me this morning.
Lorena...lol,lol. I laughed soooo hard when I read this. Your rage made my day!
Hey..Italian is similar to Spanish...I'm sure you could pick out some of the words if you listened close enough. I can speak a little...I'll tell the fuckers off for you. I'll tell the fuckers off for you, I'll tell the fuckers off for you.
See...I did it in 3's...just for you. :0)
Poor Lorena!
Is your name Lorena? I assumed but, I knowit is hard to nail down a user name since everything seems to be taken.
That sounds like a really damn frustrating pedicament, it's not like you can just not come back until they're done!
My condolences, and I toast ya three times, babe!
The very best of the weekend to you!
Where can we see more of your photos?
Cheers,
Kahli
linny + kann - thanks for the 3's - that made me chuckle.
L - the swear words must be different in spanish though and I swear they were swearing and saying mean things.
K - I have do have a photo site...
thanks P - Oolong was such a little cutie. Leave it to Americans to copmplain and call that abuse, if you're taking that many pictures, doing that many things - taking him that many places, and paying that much attention to your pet rabbit I'd have to say he was the most loved rabbit I've ever heard of.
Post a Comment